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Walk Briskly

Well, July started out with a BANG!

Zak asked Steve and I to be part of the 4th of July flag ceremony at the Milwaukee Brewers game. Who could say no to being on the field with the players and unfolding the giant flag?

We arrived early as instructed and lined up according to whether we were on the side that holds the flag vs the side that unrolls the flag. Steve immediately went to the side that unrolls, and so I followed him. The ceremony instructor then started rattling off our instructions, "When I say this, walk this way", "when I say that, walk that way", "when I say NOW, walk briskly with the flag to open it".

Wait, what did he say? Walk briskly? I'm barely able to walk, let alone walk briskly. Well, at least he didn't say run. I should be fine. Then he asked, "if you fall, what should you do?" "Crawl out" was the answer. Alarmed, I thought, "Why would we be falling, and why would we need to crawl???"

Soon it was time to walk out onto the field. What a thrill, I was standing just a few feet from Christian Yelich! The crowd was cheering and the sound was thunderous. If the instructor was calling instructions from the other end of the flag 30 feet away, I couldn't hear them.

Suddenly, the person to my left was no longer standing next to me. She's running towards the opposite side. I look at her and yell "Why are you running??" as I myself start to briskly walk to the other side. But this was a challenge...hold the flag with one hand and walk? Both hands? Walk forwards? Backwards? We should have practiced this part! Suddenly I was very far behind everyone, including Steve, who was trying to coax me to move faster! And all this was playing out ON THE JUMBOTRON! I finally picked up my speed, made it to my spot, and realized that if I had fallen, I would have gotten buried under the flag. Thus the need to crawl out...

See below, I got my embarrassing display here for your entertainment pleasure! Look for me all the way on the left, where the flag is indented, running and barely keeping up! I look ridiculous, consider yourself warned!!

Steve and I took a lovely trip to Long Island later in the month. We attended a very fancy New York wedding. Here we are, courtesy of the photo booth. I think we clean up pretty nicely.

We then visited family in Port Jeff. We went sailing one day. Here I am trying not to throw up.

Here Steve is. The captain gave him the wheel and had him steer most of the way back!

We also went shopping in The Hamptons (aren't we fancy)! I ran into Malora Hardin, who played Jan in The Office. We are besties now.

This month on The SH*T That Happens to Me Podcast:

Episode 73 (8/11/22) On the Other Side of the Border with my Straw Hut producers, Tyler Nielsen and Ryan Tillotson. They tell some funny stories about the early days and how they started a podcast company.

Episode 74 (8/25/22) Peeing in Paris with Maggie Boles (Ryan's wife), a hilarious recounting of her bathroom escapades while living in Paris!

Call for stories!!

I'm looking for some ghost stories for my upcoming Halloween episode! Have you ever seen a spirit, lived in a haunted house, or had some other ghostly encounter?? Hit me up asap!!

That's all for now! Take care, and DON'T BE A CRUMB!

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